Jeff's online journal, ramblings, whatever.

The problem with girls AND guys

So every so often I read blogs from other people, mostly girl friends (not girlfriends) that I had in Rexburg. Well, one of these blogs recently mentioned the fact that they were fed up with guys because they are all jerks and are self-absorbed, not holding up to their word, taking advantage of women, ripping their hearts out, etc. etc. I’ve read the same type of message on a few other blogs previously, and they always made me think, “You know, that’s the problems with girls, or at least the ones I apparently end up trying to date. Self-absorbed, rip your heart out, etc. etc.”

So I’ve come to the bold, non-partisan conclusion that the problems with people having relationships are not due to guys on the whole being jerks or girls on the whole being jerks, but jerks themselves! It’s not an exclusive gender trait! It seems that there are three types of people my age in the world. Those that are jerks, those that are cynical, and those that are married or at least seriously dating. The cynical people usually blame the jerks for things going wrong, but they don’t say just “jerks,” but make blanket statements like “Every guy I’ve tried to date has been a jerk, so every guy must be a jerk.” In other words, they blame the whole gender instead of the jerk. This goes both ways, too, as I know a lot of guys who make the same assumption about women. It’s just not fair!

The jerks aren’t appealing. Well, neither are the cynics! They might be, but oftentimes they spend so much time complaining about guys/girls that they don’t see the perfectly honest people that are willing to go out with them. One of the biggest ironies of this particular argument is that when I was in Rexburg I really wanted to date two of these people whose blogs I have mentioned (at different points, of course), but two things prevented that. Either 1)they obviously showed no interest in me specifically, or 2)they were so busy being cynical about guys that they never even noticed me being interested in them. Jerks ruin many relationships, it’s true. But cynicism ruins many relationship that haven’t even started. I personally have suffered this, not just on the receiving end, but it is hard not to become cynical. Hope must hold out, however, or when the right girl comes along, one that would show interest in me instead of having the “Oh, all guys hate me, guess I’ll go eat worms” syndrome, I will pick up on it and actually have a relationship, which I’ve never technically had. Guess that doesn’t make me an expert on any of this, but there’s still hope! Jerks and cynics, beware!

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