So, remember the entry I made about girls being cynical because they dated jerks? Well, it’s one thing to just make that observation. It’s quite another to find out that one of the main jerks causing the girls to become cynical is your own brother! Two of the girls from Rexburg whose blogs I sometimes read that I referred to in that earlier entry had had disastrous yet similar relationships with my brother shortly before really taking on that cynical stance. While I can’t say for certain that it was him that was directly responsible for their opinions, it is a distinct possibility. He thought that he might like both of these girls. Even that he “should” like them, because intellectually it would make sense if they were compatible. So, he dates them, even makes out with them, leading them to believe that he has quite the interest in them, when what he was actually doing is trying to figure out if he was interested, which it turns out, he wasn’t. But he doesn’t really know how to break it off gently, and so in at least one of the cases he never broke it off really; just kind of dropped it. This confused and upset the girl(s), and now she’s(they’re) bitter toward the male gender. I don’t want to get into too many specifics here, just in case my assumptions are wrong and there are people reading this thing, and the wrong person might get wind of this (that and I don’t have a lot of details anyway), so pardon my vagueness.
My brother and I both have horrendous dealings when it comes to women, but in completely different ways. Ben’s biggest problem is getting himself into trouble, especially physically (nothing that would make him have to see the bishop, though, at least as far as I know). That problem is twofold: either he leads a girl on that he’s doesn’t really like, or is led on by a girl that doesn’t really like him. I’ve never had this problem, but that’s mainly because the girls I’ve liked have never led me on, and I haven’t led on any girls that may have liked me, at least to the best of my knowledge (and certainly not physically.) Heck, I’m 23 years old and still basically am VL, assuming you don’t count stage kissing or a girl kissing me when I was sleeping (which has happened). I’ve either never gotten into a situation with a girl I like where they would even want to kiss me, or not recognized the opportunity when it came along. And even if I had that opportunity, I don’t know if I would take it, given that pretty much everything I’ve seen relating to physicality and relationships has led to heartache and depression. I don’t want to be the catalyst for that.
My point is:I love my brother, but he and others like him seem to create a lot of turbulence in the dating pool, and that just makes inexperienced swimmers like myself drown, or at least hang on to the edge of the shallow end, which is pretty much where I currently am.
I think I will officially designate “down” as “tired” from now on. If I’m actually feeling down in the dumps, I’ll pick “sad” or something to that effect.
I actually don’t have much to say right now. Earlier today during work I had a bunch of things whizzing through my mind; ideas, pics, sandwiches, or anything else that I could put on here. But now that I’m home, 11 or so hours later, it’s all disappeared, like the fine morning mist. So, rambling will be the call of the day, and the wild. Wild!
So if you go to blogthings.com they have a bunch of those online quiz things that you can take to add to your blog and find out about your “real personality.” I took a few of them, and many were completely off the mark, but there were a few that I thought were at least close to who I am. Let’s see what you, my non-existent readers, think:
Quiz #1, The Five Factor Personality Quiz, results:
You have low extroversion.
You are quiet and reserved in most social situations.
A low key, laid back lifestyle is important to you.
You tend to bond slowly, over time, with one or two people.
You have low conscientiousness.
Impulsive and off the wall, you don’t take life too seriously.
Unfortunately, you sometimes end up regretting your snap decisions.
Overall, you tend to lack focus, and it’s difficult for you to get important things done.
You have high agreeableness.
You are easy to get along with, and you value harmony highly.
Helpful and generous, you are willing to compromise with almost anyone.
You give people the benefit of the doubt and don’t mind giving someone a second chance.
You have medium neuroticism.
You’re generally cool and collected, but sometimes you do panic.
Little worries or problems can consume you, draining your energy.
Your life is pretty smooth, but there’s a few emotional bumps you’d like to get rid of.
Openness to experience:
Your openness to new experiences is medium.
You are generally broad minded when it come to new things.
But if something crosses a moral line, there’s no way you’ll approve of it.
You are suspicious of anything too different, though you do still consider creativity a virtue.
Quiz #2, Your Life Path Number(I’m not even sure what that means) results:
***Your Life Path Number is 7***
Your purpose in life is to find truth and meaning
You are very spiritual, and you are interested in the mysteries of life.
You are quite analytical and a great thinker. You have many theories and insights.
A life of solitude is perfect for you. You need time to think and do things your way.
In love, you are quite charming. You attract many with your confidence and wit.
While you enjoy being alone, sometimes you take it to an extreme.
You can become too isolated, shutting out loved ones and friends.
Express yourself a little bit more, and you’ll be surprised where it takes you!
So there you go. I was surprised by the results of that first one; that’s almost me to a T, or at least how I perceive myself. Some people might disagree with more, such as the extroversion part, but I really am quite introverted. That’s why all this stuff that is said on my blog is never actually said out loud to anyone. I’m OK with saying it here, because it’s always been a lot easier for me to express myself through typing than through talking. Just ask Haley Greer. Also, I know my brother would disagree with the agreeableness part, but he and I have a very different relationship than I have with the majority of the human race, so that’s to be expected. We Parkes’ have a stubborn streak a mile wide, so among ourselves we tend to get in lots of heated arguments that we normally forget about a half hour afterward.
Anyway, it’s time for beddy-bye! Outlaw 2, fetch me Mr. Wuzzles!
I just wanted to say that I was wrong in my last post. There actually have been girls that I knew that would have wanted a relationship with me. One such was Kimberly Isom, though those days are far gone now. There were one or two at BYU-Idaho as well. I’m not going to mention their names, but one left on a mission and won’t be back until early 2007, one was just not right for me, and any others were hiding it well. But now that I’m in a less depressed mood I’d just like to point out that sometimes I make things appear a lot worse than they actually are. Smile!
In other news, it’s Valentine’s Day! Which currently means absolutely nothing to me! This Friday I’m going tubing in Big Cottonwood Canyon at Nate Winder’s cabin. And now you know.
What does “crushed out” even mean?
Not much, so this’ll be quick. I’ve been replaying Baldur’s Gate II, and there’s a subplot in which the main character (you) can have a “romance” of sorts with certain female NPCs that join your party during the course of the game (there is also a male NPC romance if your main character happens to be female). Basically the romance goes thusly: every so often a window pops up in which the female character starts takling about something, and you have to click on the correct response. There are normally around two or three, and it’s usually pretty obvious which one you should pick (since the alternative is usually something like “I don’t have time for this right now, you whiny-baby” or something equally dumb). If you choose the correct option, the romance continues. Very simple, and it’s quite obvious this was designed by guys. Why is that, do you ask? I think all guys would dream of having a girl travel around with them doing what they want to do for no real reason other than to be with them. Then, to start a romance, there are only two or three choices to respond to what a girl does, and it’s pretty obvious which is the right one, instead of being able to say anything and not know that any one of them will help the situation. It would eliminate a huge amount of stress and worry for guys. Of course, I also believe that attitude is very selfish and inconsiderate for the girl, but then, what do I know?
It’s funny. Whenever I talk about relationship problems my sister Kjersti always says something to the effect of “Nonsense, Jeff! There are tons of girls that like you!” (more specifically referring to Rexburg, since that’s the only place in recent history we’ve had mutual friends.) My rebuttal is always, “Really? Who?” to which there is never really an answer. I’m not saying there was nobody who cared about me as a person, because I did have many good friends up there. But I sincerely doubt there was anybody who was open to a relationship.
Told you it was hard not to be cynical. But the facts don’t lie. And even if there was somebody, I’d never hear about it, especially not now. Heck, nobody reads this thing but me anyway. Guess I’ll go eat worms. Man, I don’t like self-pity parties, so I think I’ll stop this entry before people want to start throwing shoes at me.