Jeff's online journal, ramblings, whatever.

Archive for February 26, 2006

He’s not heavy. . .

So, remember the entry I made about girls being cynical because they dated jerks? Well, it’s one thing to just make that observation. It’s quite another to find out that one of the main jerks causing the girls to become cynical is your own brother! Two of the girls from Rexburg whose blogs I sometimes read that I referred to in that earlier entry had had disastrous yet similar relationships with my brother shortly before really taking on that cynical stance. While I can’t say for certain that it was him that was directly responsible for their opinions, it is a distinct possibility. He thought that he might like both of these girls. Even that he “should” like them, because intellectually it would make sense if they were compatible. So, he dates them, even makes out with them, leading them to believe that he has quite the interest in them, when what he was actually doing is trying to figure out if he was interested, which it turns out, he wasn’t. But he doesn’t really know how to break it off gently, and so in at least one of the cases he never broke it off really; just kind of dropped it. This confused and upset the girl(s), and now she’s(they’re) bitter toward the male gender. I don’t want to get into too many specifics here, just in case my assumptions are wrong and there are people reading this thing, and the wrong person might get wind of this (that and I don’t have a lot of details anyway), so pardon my vagueness.

My brother and I both have horrendous dealings when it comes to women, but in completely different ways. Ben’s biggest problem is getting himself into trouble, especially physically (nothing that would make him have to see the bishop, though, at least as far as I know). That problem is twofold: either he leads a girl on that he’s doesn’t really like, or is led on by a girl that doesn’t really like him. I’ve never had this problem, but that’s mainly because the girls I’ve liked have never led me on, and I haven’t led on any girls that may have liked me, at least to the best of my knowledge (and certainly not physically.) Heck, I’m 23 years old and still basically am VL, assuming you don’t count stage kissing or a girl kissing me when I was sleeping (which has happened). I’ve either never gotten into a situation with a girl I like where they would even want to kiss me, or not recognized the opportunity when it came along. And even if I had that opportunity, I don’t know if I would take it, given that pretty much everything I’ve seen relating to physicality and relationships has led to heartache and depression. I don’t want to be the catalyst for that.

My point is:I love my brother, but he and others like him seem to create a lot of turbulence in the dating pool, and that just makes inexperienced swimmers like myself drown, or at least hang on to the edge of the shallow end, which is pretty much where I currently am.