Jeff's online journal, ramblings, whatever.

The Teddy Bear Syndrome

Daring duck of mystery,Darkwing Duck
Champion of right!
Swoops out of the shadows,
Darkwing owns the night.
Somewhere some villain schemes,
But his number’s up!

(3-2-1) Darkwing Duck!
When there’s trouble you call DW
Darkwing Duck!
Let’s get dangerous!
Darkwing Duck!
Darkwing, Darkwing Duck!

Cloud of smoke and he appears,
Master of surprise.
Who’s that cunning mind behind
That shadowy disguise?
Nobody knows for sure,
But bad guys are out of luck.
‘Cause here comes

Darkwing Duck! (Look out!)
When there’s trouble you call DW!
Darkwing Duck!
Let’s get dangerous!
Darkwing Duck!
Better watch out, you bad boys!
Darkwing Duck!

Well, folks, I’m now living in Provo once again (actually have been for more than a month), and lemme tell you, it’s been different. For starters, I’m running out of money and haven’t got a job yet. Secondly, this is the first time I’ve lived on my own since 2001 (not counting the mission or living with my brother), which was the last time I was in Provo. Thirdly, and completely non-consequentially, I bought all four Vol. 1’s of the Disney Afternoon shows from Ducktales to Darkwing Duck. And, oddly enough, I think my favorite is Talespin, though with Rescue Rangers only a smidgen behind. Talespin just seems to be the most mature (not in a smutty way) of the DA shows, and thus I enjoy it more as an on an adult level.

I always find it interesting and a bit self-enlightening who I turn out to be and who I surround myself with when my siblings aren’t around to make my friends for me. Many times it turns out to be people they’d never associate with except for in a cursory way. When I was at BYU the first time, living in the dorms, I hung out with a group of absolute nerds playing D&D and apparently scaring off girls. I was OK with that, though; we had a wicked awesome game of D&D going throughout the entire semester, and since it was pre-mission I wasn’t pursuing girls anyway. When I moved back home and started attending the ol’ Riverton singles’ ward I ended up with Holly Fuellenbach and her friends, who seemed to fluctuate every so often. I really liked her, (and even tried to woo her, with limited to no success), but time proved we weren’t right for each other. Of course, when Kjersti came back from school and started attending the ward the paradigm shifted somewhat. Now, I’m back in Provo, living with Stephen Porter, and I’m still hanging out with people who lament their lack of date-itude and play games until the wee hours, just like five years previous. The only difference this time: they happen to be girls! None I’m terribly romantically interested in at the moment, but girls nonetheless. I guess that reinforces my theory that the gender gap isn’t as big as people may think it is.

I seem to have achieved the status of teddy bear, though, and I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or not. Let me explain. A long time ago, back in high school, I had a conversation with my friend Chris Leigh about girls and relationships and stuff, and he pointed out what he called the teddy bear syndrome. That consists of a guy that a lot of girls like because he’s a nice guy, and funny/smart/clever/etc., and a guy that girls can go to with problems/hang out with/ask for favors/etc. In short, he isn’t a guy, he’s a friend. And that’s where the trouble starts. Often one of the first signs of this syndrome is when the girls in question stop referring to the guy as a guy. In Chris’s case they called him the “teddy bear” (all hugs, no kisses!); in my friend Billy’s case they’d say, “He’s not a boy, he’s a Billy!” and in my current case I’ve been dubbed “not a guy, but Jeff years old,” whatever that means. When a person loses his gender status and becomes “one of the group,” he immediately loses all chances of a successful romance with anyone in that group. Girls can even talk to him about their relationships candidly and openly, because she feels there is no danger that she will be in the same situation with the teddy bear. Any dates will inevitably turn into a fun night out with no “romantic pressure,” just a night with a friend.

Sounds great, huh? And it is, if you’re not looking for a relationship. Unfortunately, if you are, it becomes a bit frustrating, especially when you have little to no romantic experience to help turn one of these friendships into something more, as I haven’t. My only (failed) try happened last Christmas when I gave Holly Fuellenbach a rose. Just one freakin’ rose! And she pretty much ended the relationship right there through subtle estrangement (a la the entry from July 13th on this blog). At the moment I’m not hopelessly in love with any of these girls, which makes things a little less stressful. However, I am at least somewhat interested in at least one of them, but I don’t want to upset the balance with the rest of them, especially since the one who’s most interested in me is not the one I’m most interested in. That sounds kind of cryptic, but I hope I’ve put my point across. In any case, it’s dangerous to be friends with a group of girls, simply because it handicaps your chances of beginning a romance without hurting some feelings. Man, if it’s not one thing it’s another!

I must point out that this problem isn’t gender-specific either. There are girls who fill this role in groups of guys as well (Haley Greer comes to mind, at least in our high-school group).

Maybe in a later blog I’ll talk about the other side of this situation, i.e. my self-image vs. these girls’ adoration, which doesn’t compute in my brain. For now, though, I shall leave you with this:

Ha ha ha ha!
Spin it!
Ooh-ooh-ooh-oohooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh-ooh-oohooh!
Let’s begin it!
Ooh-ooh-ooh-oohooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh-ooh-oohooh!
Bear ‘n grin it!
Ooh-ooh-ooh-oohooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh-ooh-oohooh!
Spin it!
Ooh-ooh-ooh-oohooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh-ooh-oohooh!

Talespin logo
Oh-ee-ay
Talespin
Oh-ee-oh
Talespin
Friends for life, through thick and thin
With another tale to spin
Oh-ee-ay
Talespin
Oh-ee-oh
Talespin
All the trouble we get in
With another tale to spin
Spin it!
Ooh-ooh-ooh-oohooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh-ooh-oohooh!
Spin it again!

Oh-ee-ay (Oh-ee-ay)
Oh-ee-oh (Oh-ee-oh)
Oh-ee-ay (Oh-ee-ay) Oh-ee-oh (Oh-ee-oh)
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Spin it
Let’s begin it
Bear ‘n grin it
When you’re in it
You can win it
In a minute
When you spin it, spin it, spin it!
So spin it!
Talespin!

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2 responses

  1. Tuesday, 17 October 2006 – 11:15 PM MDT
    Name: Annelise
    E-Mail: esilenna@yahoo.com

    After reading your blog I have come to the conclusion that I don’t stress you out as much as Ben or Kjersti…Thank you.

    January 3, 2007 at 7:16 pm

  2. Friday, 27 October 2006 – 10:56 AM MDT
    Name: Your Audience
    E-Mail: haleygreer@hotmail.com

    (In Eeyorish voice)
    …”Thanks for noticing me.”

    FYI, it must be the season to be frustrated with this role, because right now it is slowly milking the life out of me. I’ll have to email you with details.

    January 3, 2007 at 7:17 pm

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