Jeff's online journal, ramblings, whatever.

Nigerians, Mormons, and Wisconsin.

For fun I thought I’d post a quiz that I made up on my mission. The other companionship in our district at the time, Elder Reese and Elder Roberts, had been teaching an apartment of Nigerians and Ghanans for a while and needed something fun, yet missionary-like to do for a Family Home Evening they were going to hold. So, we came up with this quiz about basic tenets of the gospel. Remember, this is a real quiz we used in pursuit of teaching the gospel, so it isn’t as tongue-in-cheek as I might have made it otherwise, but it’s still kind of a fun read. Enjoy!

1. When married in the temple, how long can a family be together?
A)2 years
B)3 years
C)250 years

2. Fill in the blank: The prophet ______ Smith

3. Which one of these is not allowed by the Word of Wisdom?

4. What do you do during a fast?
A)go without food & drink for two meals, and pray
B)do everything quickly
C)pray straight on your knees for 24 hours
D)hunt the grass-cutter
E)go to Wisconsin

5. What is God’s purpose?
A)watch humans kill each other
B)bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man
C)condemn everyone who isn’t perfect
D)play ping-pong
E)visit Wisconsin

6. What is the name of the living prophet today?
A)Joseph Smith
B)George W. Bush
C)Earl A. Showerhammer
D)Gordon B. Hinckley
E)Brigham R. Wisconsin

7. In what part of the world did Jesus Christ live?
D)In our hearts

8. How do you become a member of the Church of Jesus Christ?
A)coming to church every week
B)Faith, Repentance, Baptism, Gift of the Holy Ghost
C)Reading the Bible, Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants, Pearl of Great Price
D)flour, water, soup, a grass-cutter
E)Minnesota, Wisconsin, fish

9. Who gave Joseph Smith the Aaronic priesthood?

A)John the Baptist
B)John the Baker
C)John the Apostle
D)Johnny Smith
E)John A. Wisconsin

10. How much of your money do you pay as tithing?


11. Which two of these are NOT missions of the church?
A)Redeeming the Dead
B)Perfecting the Saints
C)Memorizing the Bible
D)Proclaiming the Gospel
E)Eating Wisconsin Cheese

12. How does the Spirit speak to us?
A)a still, small voice to our heart that speaks peace
B)makes us shake and tremble and shout, “Hallelujiah!”
C)a scary feeling that makes us fear and doubt
D)The Spirit doesn’t speak anymore, not since Bible times
E)tells us to move to Wisconsin

13. Which of these does the law of chastity NOT prohibit?
A)reading pornographic magazines
B)living with a woman you are not married or related to
C)getting married by the government
D)thinking immoral thoughts
E)going to Wisconsin and having an affair there

14. Which state of the United States is closest to Lake Michigan?
B)New York

15. Which three of these are the members of the Godhead?
A)God the Father
B)Jesus Christ
C)The Holy Ghost
D)Joseph Smith
E)Bob from Wisconsin

16. Jesus helped us overcome which two things?

A)Chicken pox and strep throat
B)Tithing and fasting
C)Spiritual death and physical death
D)Having to exercise and booty shakin’
E)Moving to Wisconsin and eating their cheese

17. God teaches his children(us) by calling whom?

A)Al Green
B)Frank Sinatra
D)Elder Roberts
E)Jimmy from Wisconsin

18. Prophets teach us in which two books?
A)Tips for Dog Grooming
B)The Bible
C)Dr. Seuss’s “Green Eggs and Ham”
D)The Book of Mormon
E)Road Maps of Wisconsin

19. Joseph Smith was called to be a prophet by whom?

A)The angel Moroni
B)God & Jesus Christ
C)Gordon B. Hinckley
D)The Holy Ghost
E)The governor of Wisconsin

20. Jesus Christ formed how many churches?
A)One church
B)Two churches
C)Millions of churches
D)No churches
E)7 1/2 churches in Wisconsin

21. Where does the spirit go after death?
B)The spirit world
C)Stops existing
D)Gets reincarnated into a moth

22. What is the only name by which we can be saved?
A)God the Father
B)Jesus Christ
C)The Virgin Mary
D)Joseph Smith
E)Jesse Ventura, governor of a state near Wisconsin

23. Which two of these are NOT part of the 10 commandments?
A)Thou shalt not steal
B)Thou shalt not commit adultery
C)Thou shalt not flirt
D)Thou shalt not kill
E)Thou shalt not go to Wisconsin

24. Who gave Joseph Smith the Melchizedek priesthood?

A)Peter, James, John
B)Peter, Paul, Mary
C)John, Paul, George, Ringo
D)Collins, Victor, Kofi
E)Billy, Darboe, Wisconsin Joe

25. Who was the Book of Mormon named after?
A)Michael Jordan
B)The prophet Mormon
C)The punk band “The Jack Mormons”
D)John Bytheway
E)Elder Faucette, from Wisconsin

Bonus True or False Questions:

T or F  There are members of our church in Africa.
T or F  There are African missionaries from our church.
T or F  A church that speaks Twi(native language of Ghana) is better
than the true church of Jesus Christ.


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