Jeff's online journal, ramblings, whatever.

Summer livin’

Engage!

I’ve had several things that I’ve wanted to post in this blog over the past month or two, but I haven’t really done anything about it yet. And the reason is mostly privacy. This blog isn’t mostly my commentary on sociological trends, or book reviews, or other normally public article-type posts. This is basically an online journal. And while I don’t mind if people I’m close to (or random strangers that I’ll never meet anyway) read it, I’m a little more wary of casual friends or people I’ve just met stumbling onto something that will make future situations awkward. While I haven’t really had that sort of trouble so far, I’m a little wary of it, especially with the RSS feed I set up with my Facebook page. Therefore, as of now, I’m terminating that feed so every post I make here doesn’t show up as a simulpost (if that’s a word) on Facebook. Like I said, the likelihood of a scandal may be pretty low, but I don’t want to take the chance.

What a ride! Since last posting, a lot of things have happened, and yet, life remains much the same. For starters, I went on a weekend trip to Vegas with Casey and Billy, which is where the picture at the head of this post comes from (specifically Star Trek:The Experience at the Hilton). That vacation was a lot of fun, and Billy got engaged shortly thereafter (not because of the trip, but just coincidentally). Additionally, a week or so later I took a trip with Kjersti to Florida to see Ben and attend Walt Disney World. That trip should’ve been more fun than it was, though, mainly because of personality conflicts, humidity, and the fact that hanging out with Ben and Kjersti reminds me of a time in my life where I just wasn’t happy (that time being BYU-I). I can’t explain very well why, to them anyway, but long-time readers of this blog may have an idea. Or not. Whatev. The point is, I would’ve rather gone and seen Ben with Billy and Casey, who treat me as a friend rather than a younger brother.

Socially here in the BC (Bountiful Court, my current apartment complex), things have been shifting around a bit. Not much of it has affected me personally, and I’m not a big gossip-monger, but I will note my confusion over the fact that the most insulting and patronizing girl that I’ve known for a long while, the kind that would have added to my living hell that was elementary school and half of junior high, is also the only current member of “the group” that has a boyfriend. I mean, pardon the profanity, but what the hell? She has told me, point-blank, that she “can’t stand playing games with me” and has said that my choices in TV shows (specifically Star Trek) are just plain stupid. She also called me, quote, “the old man in singles’ wards that my parents warned me about.” I’m only twenty-four, for pete’s sake! I may not be a fresh RM, but I’m hardly wrinkly! She’s very sweet about demeaning your character, so she can get away with it, I guess. I just don’t believe that following every insult with statements like “We’re still buds, though” or “I love ya anyway!” excuses wanton slaughter of one’s character. My roommate has noted this behavior as well, so I’m not the only one.

A lot of the other girls I hang out with currently are just so awkward in so-called “romantic” situations, or would rather spend a lot of time running around having girls’ nights that any possible potential is thrown out the window. I’m being a bit vague, I know. And I believe there’s nothing wrong with having frequent girls’ nights; heck, whenever I’m with my Salt Lake-area friends it’s always a guys’ night out (or family night). The problem comes when they spend so much time and attention on each other that I no longer feel welcome in their apartments or even their presence. I have to do something outstanding and attention-grabbing to even get them to notice my presence. So I thought, you know what, this is the same thing that Eric Barney apparently went through in high school (and for a period afterwards), and it was torture for the guy, so I’m not going to take it. I’d rather spend time on people who will at least acknowledge my presence. And it turns out there are some pretty nice girls in the ward that notice I exist.

Wow, that whole thing was really vague. I hope you got the gist of it (and that I will remember what I was talking about years from now when I re-read this). I didn’t want to get into specifics. Yes, because there’s the possibility that someone who shouldn’t read this will, but more because I have a hard time trusting my own judgment when it comes to social situations (another fault that I believe stems from overbearing siblings, although it’s not fair to completely blame them) and I could definitely be wrong about the reasons behind their behavior. This is just what I currently feel, though, and fair or not, justified or not, correct or not, it’s still how I see the situation. Ding!

Life is still pretty much work, come home, sleep, rinse and repeat. I’m in some pretty weird financial straits right now that I hopefully can solve before the fall, but we shall see. I believe I’ve rambled on enough, though. I hope to keep this thing updated more often (I completely skipped June, it seems), and if you want to keep updated, gentle reader, subscribe to the RSS feed for this thing. Ta!

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One response

  1. Pingback: Playpen balls « ¿Le gusta leer?

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